A Hero's Job Is Never Done
by Evil Chocolate of Doom
Summary: All Revan wanted was a holiday, now she's stuck on some primative world in a dingy prison with some old fart harping at her. KOTOR/Oblivion crossover, cause I'm a sad sad person. M for swearing and later violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: All I Wanted Was A Holiday...**

Revan, as in Dark Lord of the Sith Reven, sighed pitifully as she gazed out the bridge window. She was just so tired of it all. Galactic domination was such hard work. Revan thought back on happier days, days travelling the galaxy searching for the Star Maps, teasing Carth, infuriating Bastila, playing with the cute little gizerka that infested the Ebon Hawk and Jolee ate, fun times before she killed half the crew, before she killed her traitorous former apprentice and took back the leadership of the Sith.

Revan wanted back the happier days of the fake memories the Jedi Council filled her head with, the fun and adventure of rampaging around the galaxy causing all sorts of chaos and destruction without a big cumbersome army of morons more interested in killing each other.

With narrowed eyes the most powerful woman in the galaxy came to a decision. Fuck the Republic, fuck the Sith! She was going on a holiday and nobody was going to stop her!

Turning quickly, cloak swirling dramatically, Revan strode from the bridge, her underlings hurried to get out of her way. While Darth Revan was much saner then Malak, she had a nasty temper.

Quickly making her way to her personal hanger, Revan strode up the ramp of the Ebon Hawk. It was quiet, with the droids de-activated in the cargo hold and having already dumped Canderous on some ass-fuck world, Revan booted up the engines and was out like a cut cat, before her pesky minions could even open up a comm. channel.

Cackling madly and indulging in her erratic flying that in her fake memories said she was infamous for, Revan set a course past Malachor V and into unknown space.

Little did the Dark Lord of the Sith know that in a mere week things were going to go A over T.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Places You Go and The People You Meet**

Revan groaned as she slowly returned to consciousness, her head pounded, her throat was dry and her body itched something horrendous.

Opening her eyes revealed her location to be dingy cell; the sandy floor held a chill and the rough stones looked to be almost moist. Looking around, Revan spotted a rickety table and stool, a clay cub. To her left were a skull and a couple of bones. Revan sighed, how did she get into these messes?

Standing up, she noticed just what she was wearing. Sack cloth! It was horrible, itchy and a disgusting green/grey. Revan grimaced, so much for her holiday! Grumbling under her breath, she moved towards the door, wondering if she could use the Force to pick the lock and get out the damn cell and continue on with her well deserved holiday.

Before she could even think of probing the primitive lock with the Force, a nasty voice assaulted her ears. Looking at the loathsome creature sneering at her, Revan felt her hand start to twitch. After a brief inner struggle, which ended when the cretin told her she would die here, Revan gave in to the urge and started to Force Choke the SOB.

Revan snickered in delight as she gleefully watched the bothersome worm squirm, futilely trying to draw in a breath. Her entertainment was interrupted as the sound of approaching footsteps echoed down the corridor and flickering shadows were cast on the wall to her front right. With a sad sigh the Sith Lord released the technique and got the added pleasure of seeing the pathetic being scramble away from her in fear.

In much better spirits, Revan moved to the dubious looking stool and sat down and tried to look as elegant and superior as one could when dressed in disgusting sack cloth garments complete with rusty iron cuffs.

Voices came closer making Revan pull a haughty face, it didn't matter if she was in some grungy unknown dungeon, she was the Dark Lord of the Sith and just because she was on vacation didn't mean she couldn't unleash a can of whoop ass!

Her curiosity was piqued when the guards started bitching about her person being in this particular cell, ordering her to stay where, the three soldiers and one old man entered. Running her eyes over the group, she noticed the guards moved in the graceful way of master warriors and the old fart was in a rich brocade with one of the most powerful Force sensitive artefacts she'd ever seen, and she'd seen a quite a few.

The old fart was staring at her and Revan felt her left eyebrow start to twitch. Before she acts on her instincts to zap the bunch of morons and loot their charred corpses, the old fogey started to speak.

"You... I've seen you before..."

Revan raised an eyebrow, the twitchy one, she knew she'd never seen the man before, she'd never been on this shit hole world before!

He muttered something about this being the day and assassins, but Revan really wasn't listening; her attention was on the captain as she was poking at bricks as if looking for a secret passage. When the majority of the brick wall swung open, the other eyebrow joined its buddy on their journey to her hair line.

The group quickly entered the passage way and disappeared into the gloom. Once she was sure they were gone, Revan quickly jumped up with a happy dance and made her bid for freedom.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Suing For Plagiarism **

The tunnel lead to what Revan assumed to be the sub basements of the large structure she was obviously under. Moving quickly through the gloomy darkness, using the Force to guide her, it didn't take long for her to start encountering bodies. Studying them intently, Revan couldn't help but to snort in disgust. Light-siders! If people are trying to kill you, you shouldn't just try and kill them back, but mutilate them in such a way that other shit heads get the idea and don't bother you. Though judging the fact that all the corpses wore the same ominous red robes that just screamed 'I'm-An-Evil-Cultist-Hell-Bent-On-World-Domination' it might not have made a difference.

Someone not dressed in red robes caught her eye, wandering over she came across the captain. With an evil smile Revan once again took up her favourite hobby; looting corpses.

Gleefully swinging around the captain's katana, she knew a good weapon when she saw one; Revan didn't notice the wall crumble in the far corner. It wasn't until she felt something lunge at her back that she realised something had the audacity to attack her!

Sharply pivoting to face her attacker, Revan held in a horrified scream as the biggest Force damn rat she'd ever seen jumped at her face. Calling on all her fear and hatred of the vermin before her, Revan sent out a fork of high voltage lightning. The rat let out pained screech before the vicious energy ripped its body apart.

Revan stood, panting with her palm still extended, as the smell of singed hair and cooked meat invaded her nose. Her dazed eyes watched as globs of rat slid down the walls. With a trembling she wiped the blood off her face. Looking down, Revan shuddered as she saw her ugly sack cloth prison garments were covered in bits of rat.

"I _hate_ rats," Revan hissed into the eerie quiet as she quickly stripped off her clothes. There was no way in hell that she was going to wear them now. Resigning herself to dressing up as some psychotic cultist, truthfully there wasn't much difference between the anonymous cultist and the Sith, Revan liberated some robes.

Looking around and spotting the tumbled down wall, Revan made her way into the sub-sub basements and caves.


End file.
